CDs and other stuff that has gone extinct in our house...

Five years ago, after strapping Hubber down and gagging him with an 8-ball, "we" got rid of all our VHS and cassette tapes. It was no easy feat. In fact, he went down kicking and screaming. And he still cries about it to this day... even though he has nothing to play the damn things on anymore. Now we have a gazillion DVDs and CDs... but it's time for some of that shit to go, too..
so, before Hubber births a cow, I'm putting all the music on a hard drive before getting rid of the CDs. I'm torn between being nostalgic about it and being thrilled at the prospect of finally getting my linen closet back. There are no fewer than 700 CDs in our media [soon to be linen] closet. SEVEN HUNDRED. And to think that their contents all fit on one teeny, tiny, wallet-sized contraption now is amazing.

Hubber isn't impressed with the new gadget. Nor is he happy to be losing his "media storage room" (soon to be linen closet).

Hubber: It's going to take a shit load of movies and stuff to make up for all the space the CDs take up in the media storage room.

Me: Uhm... we are not purging in order to start collecting junk again. Besides, that's going to be the new linen closet.

Hubber: The what?! What do you need linens for? You just want an excuse to go shopping!

Me: I already have linens... they're piled high in the game room closet... they're even touching the light bulb in there... damn, I hope they don't start a fire.

Youngest Spawn (interjecting little know-it-all that she is): You need to have a smoke alarm in there... and put a ladder in the window in case there's a fire.

Hubber mumbled something under his breath at that point which I couldn't quite make out but probably had something to do with the fact that he was bailing out on a losing battle. Now, not only was he losing his precious "media storage room" to household linens but he now has smoke detectors to install. Oh, and I thinkn I need some extra shelves hung.

Back to School... The Bitter and the Sweet

Today, our family hit a milestone... or two.  The oldest spawn started high school and the little one started kindergarten.  They were both very excited to start these new life experience.... all the while, their mom has mixed emotions.  Yesterday I was counting down the seconds until things would be "back to normal" and my kids wouldn't be pestering me all day long.  But, today... I feel a little differently.

I feel old.  I have a kid in high school.  Where the hell did the time go?  And how did my other baby get old enough to go to kindergarten?  Wasn't I pregnant last year?  I feel like I just blinked and POOF, five years passed me by.

But, regardless of how OLD I feel right now, I'm not SAD that they're gone during the days now... I do love my "alone" time.... I can work and write and piddle around the house in peace and quiet.  For the first time in a LONG time, I feel like I'm my own person.  No one is depending on me to do this or that or whatever.  I can just BE. And, I love it.

Summer Vacation: Day 2

Location: Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort & Cabins
Quote of the Day: "You'll always be a loser as long as you're with me." -Hubber
Mood: It's raining; but I've got sunshine in a bag

We made it to Disney World today; but not before stopping at a Waffle House for breakfast.  Hubber counted 362 kazillion of those suckers on the way here so we figured we were probably missing out on something if those things were THAT popular. We were right. That shit is good, y'all. And CHEAP!  We fed FIVE people for $25.

But I'm not here to talk about waffles and hashbrowns.

Our first day in our Fort Wilderness cabin was fun!  This place is huge... and amazing.  But you know my peeps are never happy.  We decided to go resort hopping for dinner... we trekked on over to Animal Kingdom's resort (which is lots more fancier) to see how the other side lives. It was great... and if it hadn't been for the thunder and lightening, we would have totally free-loaded and splashed around in their pool. Damn that mother nature! 

Summer Vacation: Day 1

Location: Alabama/Florida State Line
Quote of the Day:  "Goodness gracious great balls of China!" - Lil J
Mood: Thankful

I'm very high tech, y'all.  I've got a wi-fi hotspot on my iphone... so at this very moment, I'm sitting in the car typing away on my laptop as Hubber cheaufers us to Florida. We're headed to spend a week in Disney World!  So far, the road trip has been nice and uneventful.... aside from the occassional demonic outbursts from the brattiest of all children, Lil J.  We stuck her in the 3rd row seat so that we could pretend we couldn't hear her from all the way up front.  It works fine when we have our headphones on.  Well, sorta. Between the adults and the devil child are two teenage girls.... they have hardly made a peep.  Mostly, they sleep, watch TV or listen to music; they're totally oblivious to the drama occurring behind them.

I have to admit, though... I couldn't be happier.  I've got my family around me.  We're on our way to a happiest place on earth, y'all!  I'm thankful.  I'm annoyed.  But, thankful, too.  Maybe I'm lightening up in my old age?

I think I owe Hubber an apology...

...maybe more than one apology... and maybe I KNOW I do (rather than THINK it).  You get my drift. Anyway, not that he's perfect or anything, but he sure has put up with a lot of shit from me over the last few years.  I won't get into specifics, but I will say that he's a trooper like no one else I've ever known.  Also, he doesn't fart around me and I appreciate that, too.  I love him for sticking by me through thick and thin... and for being stronger than I could be when I needed it most (and for knowing he needed to).   I think he might have saved my life. I love him a little more every day. I wouldn't trade him for the world. I guess I'll even keep his kids, too.

Work and other things that make me tired...

Since I've been "working from home", I've realized something... when you work from home,  you never leave work. And, even when you physically remove yourself from home/work, it's usually to get groceries (work) or tote kids around (work), or to help others with something (work).  I got away from one job and took on 21 other jobs... and it pays less... and there aren't many perks, except for maybe this:



Ok, so it's not ALL bad...but still.  Momma needs some adult stimulation.  That doesn't necessarily mean I need my adult parts stimulated, either.  It means... I need conversation that doesn't require me to say, "You wanna go outstide to potty," or "Wipe your own ass!" or "Can't you see I'm on the phone!?" or "No, you cannot have another popsicle," or "no scissors on the couch!"  Besides myself and the little voices inside my head, it seems all I do these days is talk to animals and small children.  I guess it beats the alternative. I could be this guy:

Spring Break 2011 - Day 5

these pictures should say it all...

Spring Break 2011 - Day 4

Mood: Relieved
Outlook: Excited
GPS Coordinates: Destin, FL....I'm too fucking lazy right now to look it up
Toddler Quote of the Day: "Yes ma'am, mamacita!"

We drove for 7.5 hours...leaving BFE to sample a little bit of paradise.  It's gorgeous in Destin, y'all.  The water is too cold for splashing around in, but it's sunny and in the 70's.  The girls and I played with the alligators when we got here, then we cleaned Walmart out of all their dumbass beach toys to prepare for Day 5's plans of lounging on the beach.

Spring Break 2011 - Day 3

Mood:  Mentally Drained
Outlook: Hopeful
GPS Coordinates: Still in BFE
Toddler Quote of the Day: "Am I supposed to say 'excuse me' after I fart?"

Given the fact that visiting Grandma's house was sucking the big one, we decided we needed to check out a little earlier than planned.  So...instead of leaving BFE on Day 5, we decided to get the fuck outta here on day 4....that's tomorrow.... and it can't come any sooner.  I don't even want to recap the events of the day... instead, I'm looking forward to tomorrow around 4pm.  This is when the girls and I will arrive in Destin, FL to lounge on the beach for two days.  I've got an umbrella and a cocktail calling my name... I can hear it all the way over here in BFE.  Move outta my way, fellow driving bitches.... I gotsta get my drink on!

Spring Break 2011 - Day 2

Mood: Exhausted
Outlook: Life Sucks Hairy Ass
GPS Coordinates:  BFE
Toddler Quote of the Day: "I talk a lot and I'm smart."

We spent the first part of the day waking up.  Literally.  The whole changing time zones during daylight savings time has totally fucked us up.  We don't know when to fall asleep, and evidently we don't know when to wake up, either.   When we finally got our shit together, we hit the road again.  I think that's a song. Or it should be.

Just when I was praising her diligence, Maggie (GPS) reverted to her bitchy self.  She sent us through the Florida ghetto on an empty tank. Then, she proceeded to tell us that the "arrival time" had passed even though we hadn't reached our destination.  Had it not been for the two witnesses in the backseat, I would have strangled that bitch before throwing her out the window.

We finally made it to Grandma's house.  Since childhood, that place has mysteriously turned into the Twilight Zone.  All the [very tightly] hidden secrets are now all out in the open for everyone to see.  They slapped me in the face and sunk their rotten teeth into my skin.  It's a sad, sad state of affairs.  I can hardly wait to get back on the road.

On a brighter note.... child abuse is running rampant up in here....

Spring Break 2011 - Day 1

Mood: Tired
Outlook:  Can't think further than the comfy bed calling my name
GPS Coordinates: 30 degrees N 28'52", 84 degrees W 18'6"

Toddler Quote of the Day:  "It wasn't MEEEE that farted, it was my baby doll...she has lots of gas from eating too much sugar!"

Not sure how DRIVING makes a person tired, but I am pooped.  My ass has been asleep for hours though, so that heifer is ready to party.  Too bad, fat ass.. we're gonna tap out this blog posting then hit the sack. 

Today's drive wasn't so bad. We made it 700 miles in 11 hours!  The spawns of my loins were soooo good on the ride, too... no fighting, no hair pulling, no pit poking.  It was fantabulous.  I was even able to wrap my day in a bow with a fruity, adult beverage.

But now, it's time to pass out.  Hasta manana....

Spring Break 2011 - Day 0

Mood:  Anxious
Outlook: Positive

GPS Coordinates: ?? (home)

Tomorrow, the spawns and I leave for Florida.  We're driving there.  I'm a little nervous about the 18 hour drive; I've never driven that far on my own before.  Lil J wants to load the car up with a bunch of useless crap.  J is only concerned with her phone and laptop.  Neither of them thought packing a toothbrush was important.  Nor did they think they had to actually PACK shit up for the trip.  So, here I am doing laundry and making lists so we don't forget anything.  It feels kinda weird doing laundry on a Saturday.... it's usually reserved for Sunday.  Some people go to church.  I do laundry.

Hubber is currently out getting Bubba (car) cleaned up and his oil changed and whatnot.  Before he left, he "cleaned the car out"...which entailed gathering up Lil J's crap (and my spare shoes and sweaters) and dumping them in a heap on my kitchen table:

So, now, not only am I packing, I'm also cleaning house. Muthafucker!  I just noticed there's nail polish on the table. WTF was nail polish doing in my car?